Before mercury, my blood used to fill thermometers.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Hear the bones humming.

I will be AWP-less this year because I have been too ill of health to risk the travel. Specifically, I'm having anxiety problems. I bring this up for a few reasons, even though I'm usually really disinclined to bring it up: I should be more okay than I am with feeling like an acute anxiety attack is a valid reason for wanting to take it easy (I don't allow myself that usually, which is how the attacks get worse or don't go away swiftly) and I need to remember for the next time this happens that this was significant enough that I had to cancel big plans. My anxiety attacking is typical of major upheaval and positive change (go figure!). Because I don't have any kind of an anxious disposition, these episodes are always a shock and unwieldy, and I do everything I can to dismiss them and move on, which doesn't always have the intended affect. I need to take care of myself when something of this nature strikes. And that's what I'm going to do: I've got Twin Peaks and no day-work for a week.

Bright side: I approved the web proof of my little prose piece "Van's Friend in the City" for Anomalous this past week! Anomalous Press is beautiful, I can't wait to see the new issue (their first anniversary issue!) and I am filled with the vastly preferable anticipation-esque anxiety for their future projects. Also, my remark about Tiny Furniture is appearing soon on the Rumpus! I wouldn't call it a review, and I intend to expound on my feelings about the film here after it goes up. I'm afraid the piece comes off as negative, but I really enjoyed what the film provoked in my viewing of it and am grateful for the occasion to explore the issues it raised for me.

Lastly and most ravishingly I begin soon not only the very very beautiful new full-time job I have mentioned before but also now I am a payrolled part-time writer/reporter! I am going to roll out the details once I've put myself in order. I am so lucky. When I left my badge at the security desk at my now ex-job on Friday, I was the envy of all, and they didn't even know where I was headed.

4 comments:

  1. Sorry to hear that you are going through this, Kari - take care and very exciting news about your jobs!

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  2. Thank you, Andrea! That means so much!

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  3. Kari, I'm so sorry to hear that you've been having anxiety. It is one of the most debilitating emotional states, and I'm proud of you and glad that you're taking care of yourself. I'm sad that we won't get to meet but it will happen someday! And very many congratulations on your new job! Xoxox

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  4. Oh Gina thank you so much - I'm so grateful, really, that this attack timed itself when it did, since I have a week off of work no matter what. Our meeting will be glorious! I have no doubts! And I really really can't wait to hear about the goth club reading from every brilliant mouth that's going to be there, yours chief among them.

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